Tag Archives: preaching

My butt is allergic to Church pews.

“The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.” – Alfred Hitchcock.

I believe Mr Hitchcock was right.

I also think that we can say something similar in regards to sermons in church:

“The length of a sermon should be directly related to the endurance of the human butt.” -Wes Widner

Sadly, judging from my butt’s endurance I would be forced to conclude that sermons should not be longer than 5 minutes.

Yes, 5 minutes.

That is about how long it takes for me to start to doze off whenever I am seated in a Church pew quietly staring at the back of the person in front of me’s head, listening to a preacher deliver “God’s word” to “his congregation”.

Why is it that God gives so many preachers so many dreadfully boring messages?

One wonders if any of the prophets were so butt-numbingly boring.

Did men like Jeremiah, Ezekiel, Isiah, etc. provide temporary healing for the insomniacs of their day?

In all seriousness, I have to point out that failure to endure a sermon is one guilt trip I’ve happily left behind since discovering the whole concept of organic/house church. It is very hard to doze off when you are in a meeting where something more is expected if you than simply warming a bench while examining the back of the head of the person in front of you.

In other words, the cure to what ails my butt is open participatory church meetings like the kind found in 1 Corinthians 14 where everyone is portrayed bringing something, a song, a teaching, a word of encouragement, something to the meeting.

What then shall we say, brothers? When you come together, everyone has a hymn, or a word of instruction, a revelation, a tongue or an interpretation. All of these must be done for the strengthening of the church.
1 Corinthians 14:26

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