The Road

Wes WidnerHow did we get involved in apologetics? I get asked that a lot, and it helps to understand where we’ve come from in order to understand why we are so passionate about this ministry.

Here is part of the road I’ve traveled to bring me to this point in my Christian pilgrimage:

My story about His Glory

I grew up in a “Christian” home, went to church every Sunday and Wednesday, and learned all the Bible verses and stories.

I had never doubted the existence of God and even attempted to follow His commandments from time to time.

When I reached high school, my world fell apart and I couldn’t help but question God. As I slipped deeper into depression and self-pity I got angry with God.

I never doubted that there was a God; but I was convinced that He wasn’t the maniacal puppet-master I grew up thinking He was.

I tried to follow Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, Sikhism, and even Humanism. None of them filled the void in my soul, or gave any hope of life because none of them ended with any certainty or rational flow.

Eventually I decided that there was a God, but I hated Him and he hated me. I kept asking “how can people so willingly follow a God who is so cruel and vengeful?”.

I lived in open, hostile, rebellion to God for almost a year until one night at a youth retreat called “Impact”. God spoke to me as I sat there “enduring” the agonizing worship service and said, “You want me to leave you alone? Make your decision this night because I will not ask again.”.
I was elated because God had finally agreed to leave me alone. The tugs on my heart to follow Him would finally cease. I could be free to do whatever I wanted.

Then God proceeded to show me what “leaving me alone” really meant.

Leaving me alone meant I would be handed over to myself. It was in that moment that I knew what Hell really meant. Being separated from the Creator of the universe for all eternity.

Well I didn’t want to be separated from God so I went down to the alter when the speaker gave the alter call. I didn’t immediately give my life to Christ, however, I wrestled with God for another 3 hours.

I kept saying “How can I give my life to Christ? I’ll loose my identity, He will want me to give up everything I love.”

God had sent several men into my life, that night one of them kneeled beside me and God wrestled me through this Godly man. I’ll never forget the last punch God threw when He said, “What’s more important? Keeping your ‘identity’ or a personal relationship with the one who knows all about you?”.

I surrendered my life to Christ that night. Since then He has shown me that my ‘identity’ is marred by sin in my life and by His grace I am free from the curse of sin.

Like the song says, its good to be free.